Being bright and lazy is a dangerous yet all too common combination, and having other people down on you is difficult. But negativity, internal or external, stops with you, and like it or not, you're responsible for dealing with it. I'm sure I sound like I'm harping some new-agey self improvement bullshit, but I know that one of my biggest problems is accepting negative stuff like that and running with it, and when you think in that way it starts to permeate your life.Horizon wrote:I'm not the one being down on myself. That would be everyone around me. And while I am a bright kid, as you said, I am also infected with a terminal case of laziness. And I don't do well under stress. And my life is nothing if not stressful. So, yeah. That's pretty much it
For example, you claim not to be down on yourself, but then immediately call yourself extremely lazy. If you do have this problem, then your own recognition of it is the most important thing, as it gives you the power to rein yourself in when you notice those patterns coming up. Instead of saying "I'm a lazy person, and a lazy person wouldn't do this right now, therefore I won't work on this homework (or whatever)" you might say "Right now I don't feel like working. However, I know I have problems with getting motivated sometimes, and maybe I need to consider if this is really a time where I can get by with taking a break or if I need to stop that thinking right now, buck up, and get things done.
I frequently struggle with this exact problem, and that's part of the reason I'm stressing it, because if you're like me in this respect (and I think you are) it's something you're going to battle with frequently. I've fallen into a pattern of thinking "Oh, well I'm just lazy, and that's why I haven't been going to class like I should" far too many times. It's very easy to act in the same manner you always do, or in the manner you expect yourself to. Challenge yourself by being aware of your problems and try to improve yourself.
FC's post has a lot of good advice in it too. Having a worthwhile hobby outside school is rewarding and keeps you grounded and sane. Something disciplined or challenging is best. And, like FC said, it can be a great way to keep those who need to see you working for their own validation out of your hair. Mine was guitar, which I played and practiced obsessively in high school. When I was bored in class, I'd write out modes for various keys or try to figure what notes are in a certain chord. This ties into playing the system - you're young right now so unfortunately you're going to have to conform somewhat to what the people in charge want you to do. Trying to battle this, or crying out about the terrible injustice of it all will do you no good, so just appease the system and spend the rest of your time doing worthwhile activities.FlowerChild wrote:
So yeah man, my advice: high school doesn't mean shit. Have fun with it anywhere you can, get it over with, and move on to bigger and better things.
I think all in all, if you're an intelligent individual (which you seem to be), then the quicker you ditch the concept of high-school being about learning, the happier you'll probably be. Find yourself another source of intellectual stimulation like those I mention above, and accept that high school is all about conformity, playing the system, and keeping you occupied until society feels you're old enough to be useful to them.
You'll be out of there before you know it, and while you'll be ecstatic to ditch the crappier aspects of high school, there's plenty you'll miss about it too. It's all bullshit in the end, man, so don't get too jaded about it and try to enjoy the ride.